Essence of life

2009-09-01T01:13:00.003+08:00

EXT. ALTA VISTA TOWN - DAY

Sunshine lights up the whole orchard and barley field in Alta Vista. Sun ray shines on the plants and flowers which surrounds the wooden houses there. The heat from the sun gives live to all the needs of the residents in the town and happiness bounds around in the air. Everyone smiles sweetly greeting everyone they meet. This is the only road to the town. The road is as straight as a railway trail and both sides road are surrounded by big barley fields. Alta Vista’s residents are busy in the orchard and barley plantings, whereas their children are hanging around the orchard playing games. Girls normally stay at home playing indoor games where boys run around the town.

This is the first part of "Love Knot" the story which conducted by me for the very first time =)

my boy

2009-09-01T00:32:00.019+08:00

A little boy's story......

He is small like a human punch when first came to the world,

He is an ealier birth baby of the December,

He is lucky to born in a middle class family which his family provide him the best as they could,

He is growing up from a hand punch size to a basketball size,

He is fat and cute as he got enough nutricients from his family,

He is pampered by all the people surrounding him,

After 13 years,

He is the one who has strong desire towards people's love and care.

He is lonely innerly especially at night,

Outsider might not know his loneliness but as one of his closest, you can feel it through his action,

He used to watch comedy and laugh alone in front of the tv.

He repeatedly watches the same movie until he could Q&A himself and still he will laugh with his open arm,

He laughs until he gets tired only he will go to his bed,

Before that, he will set a pillow beside him and he will only sleep comfortably,

He refuses people to remove it because through the existance of the pillow, he could feel less loneliness.

He is now eager for love and a warm arm as he could reply on and has a pleasant sleep with sweet dreams followed by then.

Sadness goes through my inner heart as I could feel his loneliness during the very late night now.

life

2009-04-14T01:24:00.003+08:00

I don't what would happen in my next chapter of life.I dare not think much and I appreciate every moment to have fun with friends around me. And, I appreciate time of being pampered by you too...you know who you are =) I do wish that time will just stop here,so that every good and beautiful scenes will be framed in this moment without turning into any coming ugly scenes.I'm glad to have everyone by my side, no matter they are protagonist or antagonist in my life of scenes. I will still try my best to love them...

no one knows

2009-04-08T00:25:00.008+08:00

“I’m crying inside but nobody knows” which is a sentimental sentence that I found it could mean a lot. I accidentally saw this sentence in a website and it truly expresses my feeling now. I think the main problem here is I’d lost myself. I myself even don’t know who I am. No worries, I think I’m getting on the track to be the one I used to be in the past years. I’m quite happy today due to I’d spent my day with my mum in shopping, eating, chatting and etc..=) Few of my close friends had told me that I’d changed a lot. And now, I know what I’d changed. In my life, family is always at the first place in my heart and I wish to have free life in order to do whatever I prefer without thinking too much. Life is always too fragile to me and I appreciate every second in my life!!!!I’m a kind of person who always achieve for freedom and hence I become who I am now. *some of the may not get what I'm trying to tell here coz this blog is just for my my own reading and understanding =)

oppose

2009-04-01T01:40:00.006+08:00

I’m wondering something in my mind these few days. Is he/she trustful enough for the one who even sleep next to you in the future? I not mean my spouse now of course but to anyone who is surrounding me. Some of the words might hurt you but it won’t do much on me unless it is true enough is your fault or mistake la. In contrast, some of the words might please you to heaven but it ends up with all thorns wound inside your heart. It is because they are the people who are high probability in betraying you and use you wisely. So which type of friends/colleagues do you prefer? I would definitely………………………………….. deny all these 2!!!! I want the people who will obey to me without judging me much and give me their sincere hearts. I know is a lame joke. It is impossible happen to everyone and what make you think of me? P/S: I'm a lame joker xD

melancholy

2009-03-28T21:49:00.015+08:00

I freaking hate their beings as my family members...

I found hard to communicate with them nowadays...

I found that I totally lost myself...

I found everything is not as perfect as I think...

I found there is an unexpected piece of good heart from you, my dear sis beneath all these bad...

I found that you’d changed to a better one but I’m in reversed one...

I found it is not your fault of your English level as you always take it as comparison to blame on me...

I found it is my fault that even I’d spent my life with you for 19 years but I still could make this kind of faults...

I found Sorry is the only word that I wish to tell you...

I found I’d misunderstanding on you...

Beloved

2009-03-26T10:42:00.010+08:00

Yeah I know I come back here once in the blue moon. No choice, it is my castle. I feel like blogging whenever I feel something extreme to express.=) I shouldn’t time flies so fast anymore, it is a super lame excuse for me to start my writing here. I’m glad that I met my spouse who is willing to stand on me Whenever

I simply throw tantrum to him,

I need him to care me,

I need him to listen to me,(I’m such as the dominant one)

I need him to guide me in studies,

I need him to serve me,

There are too much to list down anymore, I couldn’t continue with what I need anymore. It sounds so bad that I just rely on u so much and I show all my weaknesses whenever I’m with you. With your love, I wish to thanks a lot that you shine my days!

A brand new year

2009-01-11T02:05:00.005+08:00

How time flies, now is already year 2009. Long time I didn’t blog over since the accident happened. Yeah, today I feel like blogging something new about my recent updates. For the last two months, I went through a tough intern of drama production. It was tired and tense for me but I never regret to treasure myself in this industry. I was pleased that I met all well-experienced crews and they were friendly and generous by teaching me a lot of priceless lessons. After these two months, I am absolutely tanned now! hahaha…As what I always say: “tanned equal to healthy.” Maybe it is kind of a way that I used to console myself =) what life does mean?Life is about happiness. And that it is how I portray myself in my days. Due to my personal active schedules, I will try to update my blog more frequent.

Friendship never end...

2008-06-17T20:49:00.004+08:00

8/6/08

Accident happened, and it was my lovely sister’s birthday as well…

Such an unforgettable night, I med my very first accident in life…

Luckily I still could continue resume my story of life now…

I think my life will be more wonderful and meaningful since I’m still alive today…=)

At the moment when the van stop revolving…

I found that…

I was very scare someone just left me by this few minutes time…

They were really important for me…

They made my laughter loud to the max…

They threw jokes around until I cried+ laughed at the same time…

They were full of craziness whenever hang out together…

They cared me whenever I needed someone there…

So,

What is the connotation of still holding a picture if it lost a beautiful scenery?

Passer

2008-05-31T00:02:00.002+08:00

Rainy day again…

I was enjoying with running up and down under rain…

Misunderstandings always haul two nice persons apart like passers…

It might be or might not…

There is a “blank” in my mind now…

Wondering how next episode gonna be…

No matter good or bad…

Looking forward to…

Unforgetable...

2008-05-30T01:32:00.007+08:00

Just like what I mentioned before, I thought no one could understand and feel what I did feel actually. Finally, I found you. I’m just not in mood. I want a simple relax life. I rather choose to be alone. Please don’t pull me into a relationship again! I hate people who are playing trick while chatting with me. Damn it! God, can you stop putting those freaking fake people in my part of life?

Raining…I love it…But it did make me feel like crying. By time, I miss mum deeply and wish to sleep beside her warm body like before. Yeah, I agree we lost our mind recently. Hopefully, today is a good starting point for us to recall back what we originally want and thirst in life. Thanks to you all….. You make my laughter more meaningful!! I found myself at that moment. Yes, you got the same feeling as me. I almost fall my tears because I knew I was going to leave this moment and came back to the reality...Anyway, thanks for giving a great great night..xD

And again...Jovial Entrance will make my day more meaningful =) (I think it is a nice name anyway instead of JE, so old fashioned)

Cold heart

2008-05-22T23:56:00.006+08:00

I’m freaking tired to see someone fight for power and position critically...

I’m freaking tired to constrain my feeling...

I’m freaking tired to pretend nothing had been happened...

I’m freaking tired to face all pessimists or so called emotional people...

I’m freaking tired to guess what you guys are thinking...

I’m freaking tired to recall someone’s personality ‘before and after’...

I’m freaking tired to angry on some harrowing scolding based on unknown reason...

I’m freaking tired NOW….(Lack of sleep to support my favorite team, Manchester United last night. It is worth coz……Glory Glory MU~~~We are the champions!!)

Bigotry

2008-05-17T00:43:00.009+08:00

Am I too bigoted? Why I heard it again and again in this few days from different people?

I am bigoted of what?

Love? (Most of you do say so)

View Point?

When I heard all these, I started to recall back. Did anyone has been telling me before?
Yes!!! Now I only realize that many people had told me before.
Anyway, past tense can’t reverse to present tense rite?
Hoping is just a kind of comfort.

Can't you people stay peacefully without playing politics..I am freaking tired of seeing all these..

I understand because I overcame with all these or more than that...Just wanna shout out that

I HATE THIS FEELING

Exhaustion

2008-05-16T00:33:00.004+08:00

Touch-Go is just that easy for me now. I know to handle it well since God had been teaching me for few lessons. (It is good enough though) Frustration and confusion store in my deep heart. Can’t you pull off your mask and let me know what you are actually feeling and thinking now? Anyway, there are more assignments coming to visit me soon…they are on their way coming. Can I just say “I’m honor to have you all here but full load now. Can you go to knock others’ door?”

Exhaustion is killing me

Smart Enough

2008-05-11T23:39:00.009+08:00

yes,yes,yes.... I am damn angry on how could Myanmar government do that on the civilian... "Money" again...aren't they brainless? Malaysia government do so.Have them think about our civilians agony?No...they never!I am really disappointed to see it all again and again in my own country.What super future plan do they still hold on their hands?I dare not say it does influence me 100% but I believe that it does slightly influence everyone.I really got a big shock when someone told me the price of rice had risen up at least RM10 within a week time only.I am worry that how those really poor families can afford it?how they gonna alive?Is it the rate of beggars in Malaysia going to increase too?Is it there are more case studies for me to do so?Now, I dare not even think how the World gonna be.....

Answer me kindly plz: The recent fatality+The powerful military(you should know which counntry I mean) =??

Anyway, stop talking about those clever people doing clever stuff. Today is Mother's Day, she is happy today and me too.We started to talk non stop again. I know it was my fault and I had promised you to replace the celebration when you are coming soon.Hmm...sure I know as well as the present too. Sorry Mum, I love you!!

2008-05-10T01:06:00.004+08:00

Before I get into bed, I wish to mourn for the dead in Myanmar due to the cyclode Nargis and a friend that just past away recently...This is how we perceive life and only this we can do from another Planet??World??I don't know..but one i can sure is God has mercy on other victims that might be still fighting for their lives.Positive thinkers always could live older than negative thinkers rite?I do think so =)

2008-05-10T00:17:00.003+08:00

When I heard your voice again through phone today,

I'd found out that we're still in sick condition,

I'd found out that few simple words stick at your mouth and you felt so hard for just telling out,

I'd found out that you're disappointed on me and just want to let me be.

I'm yearning for a kiss from you right now,

I'm missing you now,

I'm sorry for being so indulgent...

I know you understand me too much and sometimes only can let me be. I need freedom very much in my life and you should know this until I could strong enough to ignore you included your caring. Yes, I don't care anymore.No matter how tough it is.I'll continue it until I reach my goal. At least I tried and didn't waste my life that God had given...4 more years to go and I'm waiting and waiting... =)

My Beloved Stars

2008-05-08T01:25:00.016+08:00

You can't always by my side like before,

But your soul always stay around me and giving me strength in my life......

We talk on the phone, have exchanging our stories of life...

When I smiles, you have there to make my laughter more meaningful...

(sometimes u made me like a mad dog =P)

When I cries, instantly you feel my pain from million miles away...

We weren't sister by birth,

but fate brought us together since in the very beginning of my life...

17 years are not a short period,

We healed all the wounds in life together...

Miss Tobby,Mr.Bobo & Mr.Wc,

I know that God have mercy on me because God gave you all the greatest present in my life... Sorry bee to make u like ah ma worried me days and nights and sorry bobo for throwing so much tantrums on u...

P/S : She=He(It's because SHE is more important than HE, so i rather used SHE)

Last but not least, we are strong and we are beautiful xD

A girl story

2008-05-05T23:22:00.010+08:00

What happened to a girl that is wearing a mask of smiling and laughing everyday?

What caused her change so much?

What caused her so disappointed of human beings?

What caused her saw through the polluted human beings?

What caused her strong enough to sadness and used to face it alone?

What caused her strong enough till the World collapse still know to say "I love God!!"

Yeah I love u guys and sorry Ms.T....made u like ah ma again (but u used to be like that when in front of me) Needless to say, sure I love u all the most MuakZZzzz...

Tears from unknown explanations

2008-05-01T02:41:00.011+08:00

Long and silent night,

Just finished a cup of vodca lime on hand....

Tears keep on flowing in my heart,

Keep on asking WHY...

She's a good laughter,

My sadness stays still...

Thou made me down,

Just because of few simple words...

Life Is Good

2008-04-25T10:09:00.017+08:00

"Life Is Good"

Life always is that good...

If we leave a busy and noisy city...

If everyone leaves their fake mask...

If put down your personality and temporarily forget who you are...

Happiness found in a relaxing fish village...

Smilling brought out from the deep heart without pretentiousness =)

Volleyball-ing, Kayaking-ing, snorkelling, and football-ing...

Joyfulness found in a sunset beach...

Over all and all.....

I know that I love u all!!i love mass doggies who always barking here and there... xD

I love Redang too!!!muakzzZZ

p/s: remarkable day since i had been shutting down my old blog for so long....